Beyond The Blurriness

i know it
the truth
despite saying
i don't

staring
glaring
waiting for denial
acceptance never a chance

the truth haunts
tortures
pesters
wanting to break down

hope
from beyond
behind the blurriness
of the clouds

i know it
the truth
despite saying
i don't

i know
I'm beautiful.

Big Ocean

sometimes hard to see
beyond what's clear to view
the blur
the speed
of the unknown
continues passing
without a second
glance

if we try to focus
our senses form
and take in new light
that once was missed

and as we glare
begin to stare
the unknown continues
to pass by without fear

no threats
no questions
just existence
with no recognition
as we all float by
unnoticed

Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Friend

I
At one point or another, it becomes apparent what is truly needed

II

The people are singing

The friends must be together

III

When one prevents the occurrence

of another

the truest is known

IV

Between one or two

I’d choose one

as they often prove

to be more worthy than two

V

Through the fog

and the pain

the loss

and the gain

they will take part

VI

Whether

musical

artistic

or analytic

that friend will always

understand

VII

Years will pass

times will change

altered scenery will resound

through new visionary glares

but all will live on

despite the length

of time apart

VIII

Flipping through the pages

as images bring

memories

for all to see

birthdays

holidays

celebrations

reunions are born

IX

Skating

through parks

Sliding

on lawns

Whispering

at parties

Screaming

at night

They will do it with you

X

Overheard

Listening in

Eavesdropping

all for one reason

They ask who’s

to blame

when you show up

streaming

so they can

go hunting

XI

Gone for

long

or around

forever

words

continue

to flow

despite

knowing

it all

XII

In the dark

through the light

images shine

into our eyes

colors vibrate

brightful blasts

blinding beauty

of the one who sits

beside me

flashing messages

tasteful melodies

reverberate between us

XIII

As the seasons change

and the people move away

that friend will stick to you

making snow angels

in the fresh green grass

until the sun sets

or the moon shines

the snow falls

and the rain subsides

collecting

or building

sand castles

out of snow

You Tell Me

the weight of your disguise
pulls me deeper
as attempts to pull you out
diminish

the devastation in your veins
illuminates the clouds
through torn and
shredded flesh

cringing at the thought of your
indecision
your stability is fleeting

tension strikes the timeless clock
enveloped in your
destructive
vulnerability

slick as silicone
the pulse of fluffy pancakes...
silence was a
stunning perfection

Reminisce

the seasons change

but that's not all

for the feelings within

evaporate from the walls

it's not yet over

that I guarantee

for the truth of the matter is

it's just a new beginning

it is never the end

unless you let it be true

cause this trickling

up my spine

reminds me

of you.

Distance

There are those times when

tears are clear,

transparent and painful.

And all the moments

that I fight to win

are useless –

my strength no match,

damaging my pride

and much

much more.

Walking Around

after five minutes I am lost

but I know exactly where I am

the dried up concrete buckling under

every step – same as yesterday

or was that Tuesday?

my feet move mindlessly

dragging me where they know to go

even though

there is nowhere to go

in this town

I make circles

forgetting how I get from one place

to another

I stroll along serenely, with my eyes, my shoes, my rage –

forgetting everything

mind racing for minutes

or has it been hours?

worn holes crack through the rubber

as I feel the heaves in the road

after five minutes I am lost

and I don’t want to be found

Remind Me

The ice water pouring over my tongue brings nothing but anxious love that dwells from deep inside my guilt – my inability to trust causes my desires to stop short at a stop light – holding them back out of fear, or perhaps out of longing. I regret the childish shriek that erupted from within the first time I experienced it all, but it will never be something I'll be able to take back – not that I'd want to, of course.

Writers Block

I often try with all my might
to understand
the way they flow

but the things I read
and the things I hear
never help
the things I say

I seek to explain –
to show you
what occurs
within

but it won't come out
the paint's dried up
the puzzle unsolvable
the unbreakable – broken

I search
and try to mend
but the broken seems
unfixable

words stop working
forming incoherent phrases
I'm at a loss
and I can't even explain
it

Lost Within

a stiffness runs through me
no cause – no reason
no anger or frustration
just numbness
spreading
sinking
seeping through

a constant
irritation
a need to be
on edge
for no reason

answers escape me
as I try to make them up
to explain
why I am the way
that I am

failure persists through me
as you will never understand
and neither will I

C.D.O.

the thoughts are
never-ending
disturbing and controlling
as sleep continues to evade me

impossible to explain
or describe
as no one would
ever understand

but still I try
with no success
to show society
'til my last breath

I am human
to their disbelief
I hear and listen
I feel and break

because no matter
what is said
they will never
comprehend

to them
I will
always be
crazy

Quite Clear

your words might not
come out quite clear
but the meaning
is always there

with your heart
you learn to speak
through the arts
you can

the music
the notes
they blend together

reactions form
emotions create
feelings brought to others
without the use of words

and there is never
any doubt
about what you mean
to say

Falling Strong

The words that
fall
exist all around
but never know how
to stand tall
to withhold
the pain
to stop 
the rain
to tell me
it’s gonna be alright
for to fall
would mean
to let go
to break through
and to not be caught
by you

i fell for you

Try Me

the world begins to crumble
as words attempt to form
always jumping
always skipping
to the place they don't belong

the phrases come out short
always incomplete
endlessly searching
for the right term
to make it sound elite

it never seems quite right
perfection merely just a phase
it should be like
flying with a kite
if it didn't put me in a daze

it all begins to fade
since I couldn't seem to say
the phrase that needed
to be said
and instead decided to make it read

A Raw Attempt

the rhythms pound against my head
pulsing through my body

all I knew was what I read
and nothing else was ready

the pitter patter against the glass
making me feel free

enveloping the vastly mass
as you got down on one knee

the questions popped
the silence sizzled

and I was left in a daze
my mind turned cloudy

ruffled with fog
as I stumbled through the maze

words were thrown
across the room
and the silence continued buzzing

frozen from my shoulders down
my lids were weights and quickly fell

the pitter patter resumed
down my opalescent flesh
until I managed to muster a mutter

but by the time
the last drip dribbled
I was all alone.

Autumn Rain

darkness rolled across the ground
presenting a haze to those
still out

the cracking of twigs
muffled by snow
was enough to know
you weren't alone

a puff of smoke escaped
as the grasp got tighter
and the darkness rolled past
revealing a mask

the music rang still
erupting shivers down my spine
slamming and stomping
reverberated in the background

the fingers were still wrapped tightly
not letting me go
afraid I'd run
or escape lightly

my mind had left –
me in a daze
and my feet moved deftly
beneath the haze

Nostalgia

the words flow through my mind
reminding me of the times
the memories
when it was all so simple
there were no questions
or assumptions
no judgements
or tears

laughter always resonated
from my throat
and happiness felt so
natural
as it spread across my face

but things change
and people grow
the past is gone
the future unknown
and all we have
is this moment

New School

A new beginning
as frightening
and exciting
as the last

The stares
and glares
the welcoming dares

missing the old
hopeful of the new

never knowing
until started
time. to. jump.

Caught

The sound of your voice
stops me in my tracks
causing hysteria to run through me
I glance back
blindly
slipping away
unable to say
the words that
cause me to fall:
Catch Me.