Finally, The Truth

I needed space

I needed time

I needed to understand

that what I did was wrong

that I hurt you

that I caused you pain

that everything we had hoped for

had faded away

it all came crashing down

suffocating –

restricting –

telling me ... it wasn't fair

I had become the source

of your pain

when already, you dealt with worse

it happened in a snap of time

forever changing everything

I couldn't look you in the eye

'cause what I saw, was what I had left

behind

I quickly became that guy

that caused you

the most pain

and I couldn't live with my

shame

I always thought that I would be

the guy to keep you

safe and happy

It became difficult

to look at

you

knowing all that I had done

but I hope you know

that it once was real

because I had truly wanted

to be that guy

for you

Epiphany

It's painful
yet enlightening
to realize
that my love
for you
is stronger
than yours for me
will ever be

Despair

the trees pass by
the wind whistles past
the sun rises and falls
with the sky
– but all I can think about
is how you left me
broken

Drifting Away

some have told me
that the distance between us
will only bring us closer together

but if that's the case
then why do i feel you
slipping away through my fingers
like sand on a windy day?

grain by grain
it's like i never knew you
in the first place

you've managed to pull away
from me
and leave me alone
with only memories

you told me this would work
you told me everything would be okay
why did you lie?
why did you break my heart?

love shouldn't be temporary
you weren't 
in my heart

so how is it
that with my feelings as strong as they were
for you
you managed to leave me behind
in the dust?

i will always love you
no matter how many hundreds
of miles you put between us

you stole my heart when you left
and most painful of all..
you kept it with you
and gave me nothing in return
but a broken heart.

Convenient Standby

Life is too short
to dwell in the past
or even the future

But I can't help
but ponder the small things
that mean a lot
in the moment

You say you love me
then why don't I ever
come first?

Why am I brushed aside
as if I'm merely
a convenience?

Just Let Things Fall

I want to get away
from it all
for awhile

Just shut the door
close the curtains
let the music fall

I want to walk out the door
and know where I’m going.
A place where I’d feel
safe
and not alone

it doesn’t exist.

I want to get away
from it all --
but I can’t
because I can’t let it
go.

Cracked

You told me you loved me

You told me you cared

You told me you'd always be there

But you turned away

and said it was lies

That none of it

had come through thine eyes

But I believed it

and hoped it was true

until the day you left

and couldn't even murmur

an "I Love You"