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Thursday, October 4, 2012

Finally, The Truth

I needed space
I needed time
I needed to understand
that what I did was wrong
that I hurt you
that I caused you pain
that everything we had hoped for
had faded away
it all came crashing down
suffocating –
restricting –
telling me ... it wasn't fair
I had become the source
of your pain
when already, you dealt with worse
it happened in a snap of time
forever changing everything
I couldn't look you in the eye
'cause what I saw, was what I had left
I quickly became that guy
that caused you
the most pain
and I couldn't live with my
I always thought that I would be
the guy to keep you
safe and happy

It became difficult
to look at
knowing all that I had done
but I hope you know
that it once was real
because I had truly wanted
to be that guy
for you

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The Gaze

I catch your space –
your glance
as you watch her ...
mind racing, reeling
like an old-time movie –
an old-time, silent movie
the thoughts, maybe hopes?
racing through the curvatures of your never-resting
yet words are nonexistent
no matter what question
no matter what moment
you try to freeze time
preventing answers from surfacing, enveloping her
time won't freeze – but she will
forever standing by
waiting, hoping for an answer
and the the frozen questions melt
as the unexpected continues
because a smile is formed
for the first pure time
changing the need to be answered
into a need
to see that smile
one more time


the edges are rugged, clearly from use
and perhaps some neglect hidden in there too
the chapters are worn, damaged, stained
from experience, from life, and from just a bit of rain
left outside, withered, torn to pieces
by onlookers, bystanders, and just little children
some yellowing, some age – it all seems the same
flipped upside down, turned around
into a violent trance
it still wouldn’t cause a second glance
no one would care
or even notice
until the sound of ripping
because then it’s not the same
it’s not rugged
or used
or neglected or stained
it’s destroyed
and we’re all to blame.