I needed time
I needed to understand
that what I did was wrong
that I hurt you
that I caused you pain
that everything we had hoped for
had faded away
it all came crashing down
suffocating –
restricting –
telling me ... it wasn't fair
I had become the source
of your pain
when already, you dealt with worse
it happened in a snap of time
forever changing everything
I couldn't look you in the eye
'cause what I saw, was what I had left
behind
I quickly became that guy
that caused you
the most pain
and I couldn't live with my
shame
I always thought that I would be
the guy to keep you
safe and happy
It became difficult
to look at
you
knowing all that I had done
but I hope you know
that it once was real
because I had truly wanted
to be that guy
for you
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