My Angel

your voice resonated in a song
every time you spoke
the words chimed together
creating an atmosphere
some can only imagine experiencing

your rosy cheeks and broad grin
brightened the room
even on the darkest days
and we all wish
we could see it right now

photographs don't capture
your essence
enough to make it okay
but your impact on me
is one more powerful than most

I can remember your smile
your numerous fragrances that
wafted through the room.
I can remember the anecdotes
and the incessant laughter that filled the room
whenever you were there

you made everything better
and nothing will ever be the same
but I know you're out there. I know you're
not gone. Because you can't be.
Because wonderful things don't leave.

you will never be gone
because the Irises bloom every spring
and your pictures will sway in the cross breeze
and you changed my life
and believed in me.

You're my angel.
like the glass trinkets
throughout your house.
The ones I always wished
to play with.

You're the angel I'll hold near
forever
because your smile
will forever brighten my heart.

No Looking Back

sometimes I stand by
watching, staring, gazing
wondering if you ever notice
the pain in my eyes

passing by me
you look straight through
as if all I am
is a web of lies

the screams within
go unspoken
the words I speak
go unnoticed

the falling rain
envelopes me
drowning me
trying to make me forget

taking it all away
the pain and the glares
the screams and the stares
and me

Always

Sometimes I sit beside a piece of glass

as the wooden planks cross my face

gazing out to those that cannot sense

the shards that burrow beneath my flesh.

Sometimes I wonder who is staring back

questioning the things they might not see

never knowing if I’m really there

or just dissolving off in the distance.

Sometimes I sit there on my own

buried beneath the words and leaves

wondering when my chance will come

to escape the pressure upon my spine

Sometimes I wonder who can see

the pain that’s living deep within me

the weight intensifies throughout my core

as I hold my breath and wait to be alone again

Gone

they're gone
every last one of them

all because I said
"leave me alone"

but now it's lonely
and the birds are chirping

mocking me
because at least they have friends

they left me behind
without knowing why

as if they thrive on my sadness
and wanted me to contemplate those heights

the silence creeps over my skin
stabbing into my veins

I wait for everything to stop
I wait for the buzzing to go numb

I waited
in the loud silence

Catch a Glimpse

the syllables hum through the drums

as the tapping becomes steady

pulsing through her flesh as her wrist

gyrates to the beat

eyelashes sweep her rosy cheeks

shoulders relax into her spine

and her neck begins to sway

back and forth

the intricate mask is cracking

away from the world

where no one can see the rawness

underneath

but me

the light goes out

leaving me alone in the room

with an occasional tap of her pen

to let me know

she’s okay

across the room the droplet

catches itself in the

poor lighting

glistening down her seemingly

perfect face

and then the syllables

waft in softly

and suddenly

neither of us is

alone

Nonsense

some things traipse through minds when there is pizza.

I speak when I want others to stare at me like I’m an idiot

unable to make common sense come flowing out of my mouth.

Normalcy makes me think of idiots. Can you understand me if I Speak. Like. This?

Your being slow doesn’t affect me so go be slow on the slide where people will try to kick you down and scream at you for not knowing how to slide at a normal rate.

He’s standing over there staring at me and I try to make that sly half smile to let him know I’m interested, but instead my smile apparently looks like a stalker or a pedophile and he grabs his kid and runs away.

Less teeth? More teeth? Should I stick my tongue out next time?

I greet people by putting my thumb on my nose and wiggling my other fingers at them.

The innocent make life boring. I kick them down the slide, wiggle my fingers at them, and then go eat pizza.

Can you see the sun shining from beyond my face? Cause it’s blinding me and I hate it. I wish I could attack the sun and tell it to put up some blinds for the world.

Those blinds could hide me from the world. Hide my inexcusable actions as I prance through the streets – and no one would be able to see me because the sun would be blind.

I’m a puppet, and I really just want some damn pizza.

Chocolate Head Disease

have you ever had that craving?
stirring from deep within
the one that waits until you're stranded
to first beg for your attention?

I have.
Mine is called chocolate head disease
and there is no cure
only many more years to satisfy

it's a hassle
but who am I to complain?
Then again, it's not what most think
gorging myself on chocolate? I wish.

No.
I spend my days surrounded in it.
But only my head
a bath of sweet suffocation

I blow bubbles in my death
waiting for life to pop
chocolate splatters
it's like art

chocolate head disease
will envelop me
and all I will do
is lick my lips.