Autumn Rain

darkness rolled across the ground
presenting a haze to those
still out

the cracking of twigs
muffled by snow
was enough to know
you weren't alone

a puff of smoke escaped
as the grasp got tighter
and the darkness rolled past
revealing a mask

the music rang still
erupting shivers down my spine
slamming and stomping
reverberated in the background

the fingers were still wrapped tightly
not letting me go
afraid I'd run
or escape lightly

my mind had left –
me in a daze
and my feet moved deftly
beneath the haze

Nostalgia

the words flow through my mind
reminding me of the times
the memories
when it was all so simple
there were no questions
or assumptions
no judgements
or tears

laughter always resonated
from my throat
and happiness felt so
natural
as it spread across my face

but things change
and people grow
the past is gone
the future unknown
and all we have
is this moment

New School

A new beginning
as frightening
and exciting
as the last

The stares
and glares
the welcoming dares

missing the old
hopeful of the new

never knowing
until started
time. to. jump.

Caught

The sound of your voice
stops me in my tracks
causing hysteria to run through me
I glance back
blindly
slipping away
unable to say
the words that
cause me to fall:
Catch Me.

Finally, The Truth

I needed space

I needed time

I needed to understand

that what I did was wrong

that I hurt you

that I caused you pain

that everything we had hoped for

had faded away

it all came crashing down

suffocating –

restricting –

telling me ... it wasn't fair

I had become the source

of your pain

when already, you dealt with worse

it happened in a snap of time

forever changing everything

I couldn't look you in the eye

'cause what I saw, was what I had left

behind

I quickly became that guy

that caused you

the most pain

and I couldn't live with my

shame

I always thought that I would be

the guy to keep you

safe and happy

It became difficult

to look at

you

knowing all that I had done

but I hope you know

that it once was real

because I had truly wanted

to be that guy

for you

The Gaze

I catch your space –
your glance
as you watch her ...
mind racing, reeling
like an old-time movie –
an old-time, silent movie
the thoughts, maybe hopes?
racing through the curvatures of your never-resting
mind
yet words are nonexistent
no matter what question
no matter what moment
you try to freeze time
preventing answers from surfacing, enveloping her
curiosity
time won't freeze – but she will
forever standing by
waiting, hoping for an answer
and the the frozen questions melt
as the unexpected continues
because a smile is formed
for the first pure time
changing the need to be answered
into a need
to see that smile
one more time

Self-Worth

the edges are rugged, clearly from use
and perhaps some neglect hidden in there too
the chapters are worn, damaged, stained
from experience, from life, and from just a bit of rain
left outside, withered, torn to pieces
by onlookers, bystanders, and just little children
some yellowing, some age – it all seems the same
flipped upside down, turned around
into a violent trance
it still wouldn’t cause a second glance
no one would care
or even notice
until the sound of ripping
tearing
torturing
reverberated
because then it’s not the same
it’s not rugged
or used
or neglected or stained
it’s destroyed
and we’re all to blame.