Obstacles (5/13/19)

The hopelessness that sets in
is almost impossible to bear
sitting by
waiting it out
hoping it will all turn out ok
but life doesn't work that way
we are dealt a hand
of cards
with unfortunate obstacles
and exciting surprises
but not everyone's hand is
balanced
most – in fact – are not
and as I watch others flip their
card of surprise
I'm left behind
staring at my newest obstacle
holding back tears
wanting to scream
misery clawing at my throat
attempting to bring others down
with me
but I won't
I refuse
because it's my card
not theirs
and they don't deserve the pain
...
just call it another one
of my obstacles.

Drifting Away

some have told me
that the distance between us
will only bring us closer together

but if that's the case
then why do i feel you
slipping away through my fingers
like sand on a windy day?

grain by grain
it's like i never knew you
in the first place

you've managed to pull away
from me
and leave me alone
with only memories

you told me this would work
you told me everything would be okay
why did you lie?
why did you break my heart?

love shouldn't be temporary
you weren't 
in my heart

so how is it
that with my feelings as strong as they were
for you
you managed to leave me behind
in the dust?

i will always love you
no matter how many hundreds
of miles you put between us

you stole my heart when you left
and most painful of all..
you kept it with you
and gave me nothing in return
but a broken heart.

It Is All Right Here

The shine in your eye
when you look at me
is how you make me feel
every time I see you.

That tear that trickles down
your cheek
when you think about losing me
is how I feel
when you walk away.

The loss of words
you describe
when I ask what's on your mind
is how I feel
when I'm with you.

Words might not say enough,
music might not create
enough imagery,
but if you stick around long enough
and look into my eyes
it'll all be there --
waiting for you to listen.

Because Of Me

What matters most
is the smile on your face

But the truth is
I wish I could be
the cause of it

It's Not On The Tip Of My Brain

It's supposed to be something exciting
something new
and different
a refreshment of opportunities


but if that's true
then why am I sad


why can I not understand
what's going on
beneath my words


why do I try to figure it all out
and cause problems
where they don't exist


why am I the way I am?
why can't I just enjoy
what people tell me to


it should be
a happy moment
in time
but I can't focus on that
I can focus on anything but --


it's the furthest thing
from my mind --
the term "happiness"
because my face has forgotten
how to smile.